Pikin don fail, everybody de dodge blame!

As i de write dis thing, vex de vex me. Correct vex wey water no fit quench de vex me. Why be dat? Because we don de do nonsense again. Pikin fail exam, all the people wey prepare pikin for exam de point finger de blame another person. The thing wey dem de talk say make we do to help pikin pass sef de tire me.

No be Punch Newspaper i carry say make i read my money comot for inside, na im i come de see how people de blame other people because of wetin dem sef follow do. i tire o See make i talk one thing hoohaa! Failure for WAEC no be other people fault. Na all of us cause am. Both people wey do wetin dem no suppose do and people wey no do wetin dem suppose do.

Oka, make we begin for beginning. Oga Julius Okojie. Una remember the man? Ahhaaaa! Na Oga at the top for NUC (National Universities Commission) na im be dat. Na the baba of everything wey de happen for university be dat. the man talk something for grammar. Read am first.

The Executive Secretary, National Universities Commission, Prof. Julius Okojie, said education should be made free and compulsory up to age 18.

He said, “The federal and state governments should both agree that education be made free and compulsory till age 18.

“In addition, schools should be boarding only. Many homes have a situation where both parents work till late, and if there is no one to supervise their children when they get back from school, there would definitely be a problem.

“During my time, most schools were boarding; there were rules and regulations; seniors helped us with our assignments. But now, children close from school and their parents are not yet home. There is also no one to supervise them.

“A large percentage of private schools are boarding, but how many can accommodate pupils? Most of the candidates that don’t do well in WAEC are from public schools.

“In my time, our seniors handed us their notes and prepared us for our exams. Now, pupils don’t have anyone to assist them.”

Una see big man? Pikin fail, you say na free education be solution. For dis country as e be now, wey WAEC de refuse to release result for some states because dem no fit pay WAEC registration fee wey dem promise the students. If dem no fit do only dat one, how dem wan give free education till 18 years? And as e be today, some pikin don nearly graduate from university for 18 years. Where dis money go come from? Next thing, prof talk say all the pikin must go boarding house. we for first ask say, wetin kill the boarding house wey been dey before? Abi the thing just waka by imsef? How many pikin dey one secondary school for Oga Julius time? Today for some secondary schools, na 150 children dey one arm of one class and dem go get like 10 arms. Where dem wan keep dem? Even for university dem wwey Oga de supervise, how many get hostel for up to 10% of dem student? Even plus all the money TETFUND de spend, how many hostels dey?

Okay, make we leave dat one. How boarding house go turn to automatic pass WAEC sef. My nephew wey first go unity school, na nearly F9 e carry come back for all the subject. Na bush school we carry am go wey teachers de calm down teach pikin dem. Today, the boy don stabilize, de work sef. the time we dey boarding house, many of us fail exam o. and the only thing senior de do for us na to tell us to go kneel down, to chop our provision and to beat us. Oga no know say dis world don change. Parents no even want make pikin de comot for dem sight again.

Oga still talk one matter, wey be say most of the pikin wey fail na from public school. Straight talk be say most of the candidates na from public school. Me i go public school and most of the teacher wey de teach the pikin dem na public school product. Wetin do public school? No be the same university under Oga supervision de train teacher for public and private? We no wan talk true for dis country. Those teacher dem, how dem take graduate comot from university in the forst place. Oga de wakabout de do accreditation and accreditation and all the school dem de pass accreditation. If the pikin dem teach come go fail, Oga no go get any blame?

Other people talk put o. Hear another one.

Similarly, a Professor of Biology, Olabisi Onabanjo University, Omotoye Olorode, said candidates who fail WAEC are likely from public schools.

“People are not asking whose children are failing the exam. When one looks at things, one would see that they are likely children from public schools. These are schools everyone has abandoned. That question must be addressed.

“Even some private schools are not in a position to provide education to any child. They are trading organisations that engage graduate teachers on N10,000 a month. Some pay less, especially the dilapidated, uncompleted ones.

“Most children remain in abandoned public schools, and in many schools, teachers have not been paid for eight months. If parents are not paid, how would their children buy books? These questions need to be addressed.

“More so, very few good textbooks are available because there are no teachers to write them. We should also ask how many children have books. We have been forced to live in denial of our situation,” he said.

Plenty talk dey here o but the part i like be say we de live in denial. Which mean say we de see truth and we no de talk am. Dis oga understand as e be pass Oga at the top but this public school matter again. Who abandon public school and why dem abandone dem?  E good say prof know say some public school better pass some private school. Wetin make dem private be say dem de pay school fees. Some na international school because one student from Ghana dey there.  Make i talk something wey me i know say na true. MANY PRIVATE SCHOOL DE CHEAT FOR EXAM O!!!! Dem de bribe exam officials. dem go build dem hall deep inside school and dem go put security for gate. As soon as dem see WAEC people, dem go adjust.

If WAEC swear say dem no know, dem go die finish. If NECO say dem no know say dem exam de begin leak for bank, dem sef go die. If principals swear say dem no know say dem de use dem centre make money, dem sef go die. And if anybody swear say na failure rate high because of public schools…….mtsheeew!

Dis matter of salary no be wetin to put mouth. Na heavy matter. You go de pay me January salary for August and you go de preach dedication to duty, you smoke? And dat matter of textbook na for another day.

Another Oga still get talk. Oga talk say,

Furthermore, the Vice-Chancellor, Ekiti State University, Prof. Oladipo Aina, identified the drop in education standard as a huge factor. He said teachers are demoralised and that this has affected their mode of teaching.

“We have serious problems. In some schools, you have a case where a teacher can’t communicate in proper English. What would that teacher teach the pupils? One can’t give what one doesn’t have. A pupil isn’t to know more than his teacher.

“This is a time kids need proper care, yet teachers are not mentoring them. There has to be a combination of teaching and mentoring because they are at the formative stage. They need the right upbringing.”

Aina said pupils see teachers as role models, so a lot depends on the quality of teachers.

He acknowledged that some teachers are poorly paid, and urged them to give their best since they have found themselves in the education sector.

hehehehehe see as dem de pass blame. Dem say teacher no sabi speak English but the teacher get certificate from the school wey dem be chairman. How teacher take pass exam? How teacher take write and pass final year thesis? Na Yoruba or Igbo dem take teach am General Studies and core courses? Oga gree say dem no look after teacher but Oga say as dem don find demself inside poverty make dem kukuma make the best of the poverty. hohohoho. Make everybode be careful wetin dem de tell teacher because if teacher swear for person, the sear go work o.

Make we see how Oga Okojie round off the matter,

Okojie further called for states to improve the standard of their primary and secondary schools, instead of relying on the Federal Government for everything.

“Children learn under harsh conditions; if they are not comfortable, how can they learn? We need to revisit the entire process if there must be improvement in WASSCE results,”

Abeg who get dis man address? Make state government do wetin? True true, we must revisit the situation and na Oga dem office the visit go start from.

Year after year, pikin go fail and dem go de point finger. Nobody de go school go ask the secondary teacher dem side. Den fail WAEC, reporter go de ask Vice Chancellors. If dem wan make police, dem go call big people go hotel for weeks go do wetin no go work. When e reach time to suffer, dem go call teacher wey no collect salary. Dem don fail dis year and na so e go still be next year.

Who wan bet am?

but as all dis one de happen for one side, Oyo State government come de talk say dem no de pay students WAEC registration again. Haaa!

Hehehehehe! No be policy. Na confusion. Read am first,

The Oyo State Governor, Abiola Ajimobi, has described the decision to stop the payment of the West African Secondary School Certificate Examination registration fees for candidates and the introduction of N3,000 annual Developmental Levy for public secondary school pupils as urgent and temporary.

Ajimobi said the decision was borne out of the economic reality in the state and the desire to address the abysmal performance of candidates in the examination.”

Why I talk so? Because if na the performance of the children cause am, na one matter. If na say dem parent no de contribute cause am, na another matter still. And if no the lack of money for state account cause am, na still another matter. Which of dis ones be the matter?  and then Oga fire dem with N3,000.00 levy per pikin as punishment for not caring abi?

Hear wetin the Oga talk next.

“He said, “With the paucity of fund in the state, we had to face the reality that we could not continue to sponsor children without involving their parents in a way. This is why we introduced the developmental levy.

“It’s just for a period of time, as soon as things improve for the state financially, we will put it down. It is an emergency situation that we must address.

“Training of children is not the sole responsibility of the government or teachers, parents must play their role too. We discussed with the parents and realised that because parents were not involved in secondary education of their children, they did not bother (about) what happened to them.”

You say you no pay again because student no de serious and parents no care. Then you say make dem pay three thousand. And you say na temporary. I tire for government and education matter.

and i tire for who no tire for dem.

 

which time nonsense go stop for this country?

We just dey, de talk de laugh when someone come jopin us. Na my friend wey we follow go ijebu-Igbo last week. There we meet some OOU students wey say dem go finish exam on Friday (yesterday). We wish dem well.

As the guy siddon, e talk say im de try call im cousin for OOU. The cousin suppose don go house dat Friday as dem finish exam. As we de wonder why dat one be problem, the guy say so we never hear wetin happen. We say wetin. E say one trailer discharge container on OOU students wey de go home after exam. At dat time we de hear say nobody come out of the bus. So the guy de worry for im cousin. O boy, everybody weak.

Follow me read this update before I continue. Make you see the madness wey de vex me.

CONFIRMED LIST OF ACCIDENT VICTIMS AS INVESTIGATED BY OOUSUG

Following the accident that occurred yesterday involving a truck and a bus that left Ago-iwoye for Sango that claimed lives of 12 people, the OOUSUG investigation team led by Com. Adegbesan Adenola (MALCOMZY) and Transport Committee led by theChairman, Com. Olowo Rasheed (BELETTI) were out en-masse early this morning to get the details of the accidents and people involved. Also, the investigation team had in attendance the Police, SSS, Deputy VC, Dean of Student affairs, University CSO, Chairman Security Council (OOU), ASUU OOU Chairman, Special Adviser to the Governor on Students’ matter, and NANS Ogun JCC Executives. However, there is only one survivor of the accident. Below is a full list of the June 26 accident victims;
CONFIRMED DEAD!
Odubanjo Eunice Oluwadamilola. Pol. Science, 200 level.
Ogunnoiki Omolade Mariam. EFM (History), 100 level.
Aribiola Yetunde Elizabeth. Biochemistry, 100 level.
Adams Suliat Oluwatobi. Accounting, 100 level.
Pampam Funmilayo Latifat. Chemical Science, 100 level.
Asade Christianah Ibukun. Law, 200 level.
Dairo Olatunji Michael. Physics, Graduate.

SURVIVOR
Akinbo Laughter Ibukun. Chemical Science.

UNCONFIRMED PERSONS
This names are one way or the other seen on recovered items of the accident victims. This does not mean the persons are involved.

Kutu Ayonimofe Emmanuel.
Ayoola Sheriff Gbolahan.
Akinyemi Remilekun.
Kazeem Akeem.

All the bodies were earlier deposited at Fakoya Hospital and later transferred to Olabisi OUTH.
The family of the survivor has come to withdraw her from Idera Hospital and been transferred to a private hospital as at reporting.
Autopsy is now been conducted on all the deceased. There will be no lecture in all our campuses on Monday, 29th June 2015. No Club should operate within OOU environs on this day.
Also, candle light will be done in honour of the lost souls. We declare Monday 29th June 2015 as BLACK MONDAY.

So when dis madness go stop? No be today we don de hear de see how container de fall on top motor. But who de do anything about am? How we go put container for on top trailer and we no go do anything to make sure say e no fall down.
Now, as before, dem don kill people pikin. We even de hear say the trailer de drive against traffic. Vex de vex me no be small. Make pikin call im mama say I don finish exam I de come house. Make mama enter kitchen to do something special. Make she come de call say where you don reach make nobody pick phone or make stranger de ask am say, ‘who do you want to speak to?’ This thing too bad. E just too bad.

Make una help me share this matter until e go reach the ear of person wey go do something about am. I take God beg una.

soja for rent

Soja for rent
I no know how I wan take write dis mata make e short. I don try many style and I don cancel many style. The reason be say I no wan make anything wey resemble lie enter the talk. I don decide make I just de talk am as e de enter my mind. When you read am, you fit de arrange am for your own mind as you like.

Who fit beat person for street today come go free? Who fit brush you anyhow and people go de look and dem no go even ask question not to talk to put hand? If area boys beat you, you fit arrange your own area boys go meet dem later. You fit beat dem sister for street corner or burn dem papa house. If police beat you, you fit do Return of Bruce Lee go meet am where e rent house. You fit rush am when you see am on top bike for your street. Make we no talk cult own because if e start, e no de quick end.

So who fit brush person come go free? Na only sojaman.

I wan first of all talk say correct soja dey o. Soja wey know wetin dem work be. Soja wey go drive im motor and obey yellow fever and even stay for line for go-slow. We get many many soja wey be 100% professional. All of una wey make sense, make una de continue like dat abeg. No be una I de follow talk.

Soja don show us pepper for dis country sotey you no go know the one to talk first and the one not to talk at all. The time wey I dey secondary school, some Lagos boys for our boarding house de always de tell us how soja de take koboko de whip people wey no quick comot for road for dem. Years after, I reach Lagos and I still de see soja de wear koboko for waist. I just de think say, so dis people still never change?

All of us know say soja de harass civilian. Na so dem take enter Kalakuta under Obasanjo. Dem scatter no be small. Dem throway Fela mama from window as Fela talk and Fela still blame dem say na dem kill im mama. Again, you remember those naval ratings wey beat Uzoma Okere for street for Lagos? Dem tear her cloth. The mata enter court. Who fit talk say im know how dat mata come be now? Again again, na soja enter street for Lagos and BRT buses catch fire. People wey dey there talk say na soja put the fire. Doja told say dem no know anything about am. Dem talk the mata go left, dem talk am go right and na still one place we stand. We no fit count the number of time soja don beat police. I no talk say soja fight police. I mean say soja beat police. Some time sef na because dem say make dem park for check point.

We don see soja de display for filling station for time of fuel scarcity. Na magic dem de do there. We don see soja when bank no quick answer dem when dem money enter account. Dem wan collect before dem even post the money to account. We don see soja when dem go buy ‘no-testing’ and come see say e no work. Dem go mobilize enter market and everywhere go de shake. We don see soja for many many situation for dis country. We don see soja wey wear hood for Osun election. We no fit tell till today weda dem be soja or thugs wey sew uniform.

The one wey tire me now be say people de use soldier de do all kind thing now. Person wey get one or two soja as friend go just call dem when anything happen and dem sef go run come display. I see soja beat one man anyhow because dem call dem. The person wey call dem tell dem say the other man beat im 65 year-old papa. Till today, nobody know the truth. Na me carry the battered man go clinic after the soja boys don finally approve say make we try save im life. If person owe you money, you go just carry two or three soja go there and your money go come out. If girl no write exam, she go tell soja say na you cause am and soja go show for your step. People go tell you say, “I no go bother handle your matter myself, I go just bring soja for you”. Soja don turn something wey dem de rent.

You come know where the matter come bad pass? I don see say no be all the people wey dem de rent as soja be soja. Many many boys dey barrack de hustle. When people call soja make dem come help dem, soja fit give two or three boys camo facecap or belt say make dem de go represent. The boys go enter area come de form soja. When dem finish, dem go carry money from the person wey call dem. Weda dem de deliver give soja, I no fit know.

How civilian go de rent soja for purely civil matter? The worst part be say na who call dem de always right. Dem first mode na beating mode. You de read dis thing and e de be you like say I just de talk abi? Wait until soja wife or girlfriend go bash you from behind. Na she go wrong but when she make one phone call, soja go come and na you go wrong from dat point on. Imagine the rest.

As Buhari say make soja no dey for checkpoint again, abeg make e tell dem make dem no de put demsef up for rent. Dat kind thing no good.

God de punish rapists o!

Warning: Rapist life no d ever better o!

My people e don tey since I follow una talk o. no be say na so I want am but dat small devil wey de fly for night na dem bite me come give me malaria. I sick wey be say if I open the computer I go rest small. If I type my password, I go rest again. So I kukuma say make I well small before I come back. All dat time wey I de lie down, I de force to de watch the same TV station, plus news, plus documentary, plus advert. Mtsheew! E no easy. But wetin surprise me na the number of case of rape wey dem de report for both TV and newspaper. Man tire o. Sotey you go hear say 70 year old man de damage 11 year old wey dey primary school. Dis world don spoil finish o!

So I come tell myself say time don reach to write small message for all the young people wey dey my side. I wan tell dem one thing only. Very simple: God de punish rapist o! Im life no de better at all. Sake of wetin? Dat thing no be small offence. For man to do dat kind thing to woman or vice versa but especially man to woman own. You for ask me say how I take know. I go tell you whether you ask or not.

Na the time I de read Bible na there I see the story of Cane and Abel. If una remember, dem be brother and brother. Because of jealousy, na so Cain kill im brother Abel. E come de form like say nobody see am. E carry im big head de continue like say all na normal until God call im name.

“Cane, come here. Wey your brother Abel?”

The bobo no shame face sef. E reply God sharperly.

“Baba, which levels be dat? Na me de do security for my brother?”

God just look am like, ‘dis boy no know the meaning of Almighty sha’. God still de tell am gentle gentle.

“No be say na your brother BLOOD de cry out to me so? Say make I revenge wetin you do am?”

Until dat time before Cane come coolu temper, come see say nothing e fit hide from God. God punish am sotey sinner man complain say the punishment too much, say make God reduce am for am.
When you rape girl, na her spirit inside de cry give God say make God take revenge. Why, because the effect wey rape de get be like make dem kill person from inside. Some people no de revover at all. Some de find poison kill demself. Some people no go die. Dem go de waka like say dem dey alive but dem don die inside. Some people no go ever tell anybody wetin happen out of shame and make people no come take am de do gossip. Some sef go de see the people wey rape dem everyday and fear no go let dem talk. If no be fear, e go be say make shame no come enter dem family. Every time dem see the person pass, na so dem spirit go de cry out.

Make I find example wey I go take help you see wetin I de talk so.

When we small, we de carry stone for pocket go pond of water. We go de stone frog for water. Any one we kill go turn upside down and we go de bounce de happy. We de count who Sabi kill pass. For us, na game. Na just small pikin play. For the frog nko? Na play?

Dats why I write dis thing o. All man-pikin dem. Whether you be old or young and whether you be student, worker of person wey de find job, abeg bring your ear and your sense. No follow rapist waka. No stay where dem de plan rape or de do rape. No know about am sam sam. No join others rape and no rape alone. Na devil wan spoil your life. Dis thing I de talk no be small thing o. People wey don do dis kind thing, when dem don old, na dem dem go de pray pray pray for fear say God fit no forgive dem bad bad wocked things wey dem do.

Another matter dey o. Make una wey get girl pikin take careful about the kin thing una de allow o. No de send girl pikin message anyhow especially for night or for far or lonely place dem. No de allow just anybody de send dem message. Na the style wey bastard boys take de carry dem go inside dem room be dat. No let any man de call your pikin, ‘my wife’ and all dat kin name wey dem de take de prepare ground. No let any man de always buy this and that for your pikin. No let any man de touch girl pikin anyhow in the name of affection for children. I no fit tell you all the things wey you go avoid. You suppose de take your own sense de water ground.

No make mistake de think say police dey to punish men wey de rape girls. You no de read newspaper? Some women de talk say police de blame dem for station for the rape of dem daughter. Police sef go de tell the pikin wey be eight years say na her fault, say she sef de enjoy the rape. Wetin person no go hear for dis country. I know say some of una go think say I de lie, so I don put one link for you. Follow the link make you sef read.

http://www.punchng.com/feature/super-saturday-feature/child-rapists-on-the-loose-how-nigerian-policemen-aid-paedophiles-to-escape-justice/

Person wey get ear, make e no take am fetch water o. Make e take am hear word take educate all the other members for im body, inside and outside.

If you rape person and you de dance, de happy say you don go free, you be mumu. The day God go call your number, no look far for wetin de do you. Dat na if you get luck sef. If your mama de pray for you for villa. Otherwise, na devil fit call your number. Think dis matter well o!

I don tire again. Make I rest small. God punish mosquito.

…this tinubu must go jail…gbaaam!

I don vex. Make nobody hold me o. this Tinubu must go prison and this week! Wetin sef? How only one man go do all the thing wey AIT talk say e do and nobody fit to stop am for street say, “Hey come here Ol Boy, dis thing dem talk say you do, na true?” As if all dat one no do, the guy de use one kin otumokpo de take de suppress us. Wey be say, fourteen million people for Lagos, nobody fit get up ask am any question. This bobo de try o!
Now wey be say AIT don get anointing to deliver us from shackle, dem don do documentary. Dem don tell us how the man na BAAAAAD MON, wetin dem wan make we do now? Because one thing wey me I sure be say dem no spend all dat money to tell me say Bola Tinubu na bad man make I for just know, then enter room go sleep. E get wetin dem de hope to get wey make dem do dat documentary. Or to talk am another way, e get wetin the person wey pay for dat documentary de expect say we go do after we don watch am.. I de hear sef say dem don de ready to do Rotimi Amaechi documentary too. Before dat new soup done, wetin we go take dis soup wey dey table do? I de come, make I enter history.
Time wey never tey for back, dem do documentary and at one na against Buhari. That thing reign erh! E be like when grass de catch fire for harmattan. People de take dem small money enter internet go watch am as dem money fit carry. Others no sleep for night sake of say dem de wait whether AIT go still do the repeat broadcast. After plenty people don finally watch am na so we de wait say wetin next? Sharp sharp, AIT organize poll for dem website make dem take judge as the people de react on top wetin dem just tell dem. The poll begin, de go, de go, de gooooooo, until something come tell dem say yawa de gas yawally. Buhari just de flash Jonathan de go, and as night de continue, the gap de be like gap between Sambisa Forest and Olumo Rock. We sleep dat night with mind say for morning we go see whether the gap don enter Cape Coast. As we enter website for morning, wetin we see? Hehehehehehe you kukuma know na.
Nothing!
Wetin happen overnight? Dem say website don crash. Den dem say na APC over-voting na im crash am. Say some APC people hide for near river and from there dem de vote de vote until dem take vote wound the website. The point here be say, since dem do the Buhari documentary, wetin come do Buhari? I think say the answer to that question be say more people come de like the man. If no be say somebody de smoke mosquito coil, how you go do the same fuck-up two time or even three time and you de wait different result?
Anyway, dem don do documentary and dem de prepare to do more. E fit be say dem de achieve dem goal or e fit be say the money wey dey dem hand too much. But now wey dem don do the do, wetin dem want make we do because of dem do.
#1. DEM DE EXPECT MAKE WE DISCUSS WHERE WE DE MEET, DEN MAKE WE          ENTER STREET
Dem want make we gather as we de gather for the places wey we de gather. And from there, make we carry placard enter street, and make we condemn Tinubu and accept Jona. You know the places we de gather at all? Hehehehe I go tell you.
NEWSPAPER STAND: Most of us wey de gather there no get work. Na to come there come hear the latest and then to shift the discussion to Chelsea, Barca, Man U and Arsenal in the end. Each newspaper stand get some people wey be leaders of thought. Some na businessmen wey no de do early morning business. Some na retired people wey government de owe salary. Some na politician wey dem don sideline wey de vex. When you raise matter say dis Tinubu na thief, one of dem fit look up from newspaper ask you say, “Dem wey de complain be wetin?” In the end we go enter Barca and Chelsea until we waka. We de take dat one reduce the pain wey dey we belle. Na abuse we de abuse government most of the time.
BUS STOP/QUEUE: This place na one of our many suffer point. When we no see bus enter or when dem don make us queue die to save or collect money from bank, to pay for NEPA, to register for one idiot thing or the other, to collect PVC. Na there we de smile, de fight de settle de discuss. For dis kind point, any discussion fit end any time you see bus or your turn reach for queue. Many times, na frustration no de let us think straight. You fit raise Tinubu matter for queue of thirty people make nobody answer you.
VIEWING CENTRE: for here, once game start, every political nonsense suspend, except when referee don cheat us and we all shout PeeDeePee! All the talk resume for half time or the time between end of one game and start of another. Many intelligent people no de talk for here. Big boys and girls no de come here at all. Na over-sabi, over-kako people na dem plenty pass for here. If your voice loud or you sabi demo, na you go win every argument. One person go colonize talk and e go de lie de swear say na true. For here, the TV must not tune to AIT by mistake sef.
JOINT/BAR/AREA na here be the real place and plenty people de discuss here. Sometimes the music fit loud sotey una go de shout to hear each other. But we go still de talk. The wahala be say, the more we drink, the more we de miss the point. Discussion wey start as wetin dem talk about Tinubu fit end with which woman for town de cook the best bokoto or catfish. When we finish our drink, we go enter road and we don forget wetin we talk. Many of us, na dis same bar make us no register for election. Na dis bar wey no let some of us go collect out PVC till now.
I no think say any of us go enter street on we own because of Tinubu. But if the campaign fund show, we fit o, but dat is a professional level. We do am, collect money and enter bar again.
#2
The other thing wey dem fit de expect us to do be say make we no vote for Tinubu. But Tinubu no de contest na. So dat mean to say, make we no vote for Ambode, Amosun, Ajumobi, Buhari…the list long.
Ohooooo!
Why because Tinubu de control dem and the man go just take over. E make sense to stop Tinubu if the man de hide for back de control empire. In fact, the man must go jail. But na we de jail people? Na who wan jail am? I don think am say how we fit use the yam and goat formula take catch Tinubu. But I fear o. From wetin AIT talk, if we use dat style against Tinubu, the yam fit chop the goat. Gbaaaaam! The goat go vanish!
E don near eight years since dis man comot for office. The time e dey office, na immunity we de blame. For nearly eight years now, na wetin we de blame? One small time, dem say e get foreign account the time e be governor. Na so dem carry am go Abuja. Dem do drama and dem put am for inside accused box. E de look dem. The way e pose for inside that box sef no be like accused. E pose like don! Ahhh Tinubu na bad man! Dem talk go up. Dem talk come down. Dem say dem see say all the time e be governor, e no once use the account. Dem free the man. I no know who pay transport wey the man take come back Lagos.
Since den, nothing. EFCC dey. Dem no talk. ICPC and Police dey. Dem no talk. Army dey, DSS dey and NSCDC sef dey. Dem no talk. NDLEA dey, NAFDAC sef dey and in addition to all dat, FG sef dey. Dem no fit do nothing? No one fit catch am? All dis thief wey Tinubu thief, every every wey de catch thief just leave am make e de waka free. Na AIT dem send make dem find am guilty without trial. Na me dem want make I punish am with my vote. Anyway, most people don make up dem mind who dem go vote. If another documentary dem come, make e hurry.
Meantime, make somebody help us tell people wey de collect salary to catch thief say make dem do dem work. No be we suppose punish Tinubu.

Kirikiri for who?

Kirikiri
(Ahmad is startled by the sound of his son flinging away his schoolbag as he ran in from school, his mother trying to console the crying boy)
Junior: Daddy! Daddy! Daddy is it true?
Ahmad: Is what true?
Junior: Is it true that you are going to jail?
Ahmad: Whaaat? Going to jail for doing what? (looking at his wife) Where did he get this nonsense?
Wife: (spreading her hands dramatically) I don’t know but I think it was at school.
Junior: (sobbing) Daddy, but is it true?
Ahmad: Of course not. Where did you hear that?
Junior: My classmates were mocking me. They said if Buhari becomes president, you and Uncle Obadimu would be sent to prison. They say you are bad people.
(There is shocked silence as husband and wife stare at each other)
Ahmad: Which kind of school is this that children discuss politics? (turning to Junior) Come here little man. Go get your lunch. There is no such thing as jail for Big Daddy. Some people are jealous of us that is all. Go get some food and rest. We will go out together.
(Wiping his eyes with the back of his hands, the boy exits)
Wife: I always told you to stop discussing politics in front of this boy but you won’t listen.
Ahmad: Is that why anyone should take this thing to children in primary school?
Wife: Haven’t your people taken this to church? Why does it surprise you that children also know?
Ahmad: This is preposterous!
Wife: But come to think of it, is this prison thing a possibility?
Ahmad: (eyes flashing in anger) Even you?
Wife: (raising both hands in surrender)
Ahmad: (Picking his phone, dialing and waiting a while to connect) Oba, we need to talk o. Carry Eze follow body, make we meet for area sharply. Wahala dey o.
(About 45 minutes later, Ahmad, Obadimu and Eze are sitting in a bar)
Barman: Oga, wetin make I bring for una?
Obadimu: We no run. Make we talk wetin carry us come, we go drink after. (Barman moves away)
Ezeike: Bros wetin de pursue frog for day time abeg.
Ahmad: My pikin come back from school today de cry. E de ask me say whether na true say I de go prison. Imagine that? (Ezeike and Obadimu look at each other). Una no talk?
Obadimu: Which kind school you put your pikin? Which kind yeye thing be dis?
Ezeike: Bia, this matter don de pass play o. Even pikin don de follow de talk am now.
Ahmad: Follow de talk wetin?
Obadimu: Prison na. Say Buhari go carry we go prison if we win.
Ezeike: Wetin we do wey dem go carry us reach prison?
Obadimu: Wetin we no do? This one be like business as usual for your eye? You no read wetin Baba de talk for Nigeria and London?
Ezeike: Nobody de believe am sef.
Ahmad: Who lie give you? Yoruba people too do follow-follow.
Obadimu: I hear. No be Hausa follow-follow de cause dis problem so? No matter wetin you prove to dem, na Sai Baba go be the last answer. Una people tire person sef.
Ezeike: Nobody go vote for murderer, person wey no enter kindergarten.
Obadimu: You still dey on that level. The man don jump am pass. Even if person lie for you, you suppose de lie give yourself?
Ezeike: For my side, na full support. Which Igbo man with correct blood for im vein go vote that Gambari old expired man?
Ahmad: Eze your people no matter for dis matter. Even if all of una vote for Oga, the thing wey de blow whistle go still de blow whistle.
Ezeike: Then make una people vote like my people make whistle end.
Ahmad: Eze your people no understand politics and dem no care. Dis matter pass buying and selling.
Ezeike: Which election no be buying and selling? Everything na buy and sell. Buy vote, buy crowd, buy journalist, buy media house, buy protesters. Na una people wey no get market strategy.
Ahmad: People abeg, wetin be dis? My wife ask me say whether dis prison talk na true. Na true?
Obadimu: Na true o. I no go lie you. You don see paper today?
Ezeike: The place wey Baba de talk say na fear de catch Oga make Buhari no send am go jail. Which kind yeye talk be dat?
Obadimu: No be dat news I de talk. I read say dem wan arrange meeting for Buhari and Oga, sake of say make dem settle wetin go happen if Buhari go win by mistake.
Ezeike: Whaaaat?
Ahmad: I read am too. Make e no come be say dis big boys wan cut deal and dem go leave us make Buhari take us do example? See the way Olisa Metuh de talk like Pentecostal pastor. Dat man don see wetin we never see. Na peace e de preach now o.
Ezeike: Whaaat? Dem no fit try dat kind thing.
Obadimu: Na you go stop dem?
Ahmad: No be say we suppode de plan how to protect ourself so? We sef we no suppose follow dead body enter inside grave na.
Obadimu: (thoughtfully) We don tey together o. We no go de hide mouth talk. Wetin make we do wey go keep us safe if we by mistake lose dis election?
Ezeike: That is simple buying and selling, we go need to join dem. Pure and simple.
Ahmad: So we cut a deal for ourself.
Ezeike: I no know wetin you wan cut but I know say make we think am wella. Den make we meet tomorrow or the day after make we know wetin pay us pass.
Ahmad:Na me go come de shout Sai Buhari up and down? E no easy o.
Ezeike: If you go jail, another person go de marry your wife. Your pikin go de call another person “Daddy” It is simple buying and selling.
Barman: Oga, make I bring drinks now?
Ezeike: Barman come. Which drink dem de serve people for Kirikiri?
Barman: Which place …ha Kirikiri no be prison? Dem no de serve drink der o. Na suffer dem de serve. Una wan go there?
Ezeike: (rising) God punish your mama.

Telling the Army Truth… dat one na patriotism!

Since many days now, the thing we de hear for TV na warning from army to some people. DSS don first warn us tey tey say dem go arrest anybody wey insult the president. We no mind dem because we no de insult anybody. To tell person as e be, no be insult. You no fit beat person come tell am say make e no cry. If NEPA collect my money and dem no give me light. And dem say make I come top money plus the one wey siddon berekete for my meter, anything I tell dem no be insult. But if DSS wan arrest anybody sef, dem go first arrest the president and im people because na dem insult demself pass.

Make dat one pass.
If two pikin de fight, correct mama go separate fight first and then make sure say the children understand say fight no good. No matter, no matter. Na bad mama de abuse the other pikin whether her own pikin right or wrong. So, when army and DSS begin de do like bad mama, the best thing we fit do for our country na to help dem understand how we see am. Then we go work together take end nonsense. Dat na the meaning of patriotism. Na two half bum-bum be one nyash.

They that live in glass houses must not hurl bricks, or have someone hurl bricks for them. It is in fact advisable that they have nothing whatsoever to do with bricks. This is why it gets particularly worrisome to see an institution like the army fighting to restore its dignity. Albeit through threats against citizens who they know they could never move against without crises that will be difficult to manage. So what happened to bring them to this kind of position? What do they need to do or avoid to restore the non-partisan dignified stance that they crave so much?

From since the time we small, we de fear soldier. We small when dem go scatter Fela house. All of us know the song “Zombie” but fear no de let us sing am for Boys Scout not to talk of army. Now, we don grow and na the same thing still de happen. Army de appeal for support and sympathy and we de give. If we hear say dem kill soldier on duty, e de pain us. But wait make you see wetin soldiers de do us when dem vex. Soldier go come buy no-testing and e go use am for one month. When NEPA high voltage damage am, e go return am ask for new one. If you no give dem, dem go so beat you. If you stubborn pass, you go reach barracks. Again, make soldier de drive civilian motor. If dem blow horn and you no quick comot, dem go beat you bad bad not to talk of when dem carry dem oga de waka. Una remember Uzoma Okere? Dem tear fine gal cloth for street. Wetin she do? One day, I dey for street for Abeokuta wey one soldier take belt scatter one side of okadaman head. Blood everywhere. Who you wan go report to? Sotey, if one person don know one or two soldiers, na wetin e like e go de do for street. If you challenge am, na uniform you de invite. No be so e suppose be if you de find respect.

Over the years, soldiers in Nigeria have always been elite. Any retired army boss wey no get money is either an idiot or a religious man. All of dem get connect bad bad and nobody fit ask dem where dem get the money wey dem de spend. Na privilege to be soldier. The only time dem de get fight na peace-keeping and even dat one sef, na dollars dem de collect. All dat na before Boko Haram show dem idiot face. Na Boko Haram open soldier nyash wey make us begin de ask question. For the first time, Nigerians saw their army grossly deficient in equipage and performance. These soldier, like our police, are award winners anytime they go out. But here, they found it difficult to put down a rag-tag army of armed street urchins as we once were led to believe. Then the truth hit us all. The urchins were better armed. We began to ask questions about the welfare of the soldiers we were sending out. They are soldiers but they are our children, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, husbands, wives…they are our family. If they were going to die, they needed to put up a fair fight. The pictures and account we received were indeed disheartening. Eventually, even their wives began to protest and refuse to allow them to “go and die”.

For the first time, we begin hear say soldier refuse to go fight. Some vex for dem GOC because dem say dem Oga just waste some of the soldiers dem life wey make Boko Haram ambush dem. Dem catch dem, dem sentence dem to death. Now, the soldiers wey dem don sentence to death don de pursue hundred. Whether dem kill dem o, whether dem leave dem o. The damage don happen. The money dem give army, nobody fit explain where the money waka go. Soldiers de claim say na because dem no give dem weapon na im make dem refuse to fight. Who make we believe now? Na the small small people  de die every day. The big oga dem de give press conference. Na waa o. Falana talk, Amaechi talk…next thing na warning.

The one wey bad pass na dis political side. Today, more and more Nigerians don de see army as supporting one side. We still de argue say make everybody shut up, say no be so. Some of us see when dem take PDP motor come carry soldiers for election duties, but we no talk because we no fit prove anything. Abi na you wan snap dem? Then like play, we see soldiers with hood for election for Ekiti. We just de look ni o. Wetin? Their minister dat time de run things. DSS men de protect one candidate. Person tire!

Another thing wey de happen come be say a whole army go de do conference de talk something and we go later see say no be so.

Dem say dem don rescue Chibok girls, dem say no be so..

Dem say na inside evil forest of Sambisa the pikin dem day, den dem say Sambisa no be forest at all.

Dem say dem know where Chibok girls dey, dat na since which month?

Dem say na Ogwuche bomb Nyanya and now to prove am de hard dem.

Dem carry civilian plane and civilians go buy arms, till now dem no answer questions wey Nigerians ask.

Dem say dem capture towns, we de hear say Boko Haram still de control those towns.
Dem announce ceasefire and fire no cease.

A few days ago, the army paraded a few crest-fallen dudes and told us that these creatures successfully conned the army, the DSS and DMI into entering a bogus ceasefire deal. I would certainly have preferred if they stayed quiet about it. How do you flaunt your incompetence yourself? How could those boys have convinced them that whoever they were dealing with were Boko Haram? Who are those people anyway?

This drive to convince Nigerians that they are on top of things is what most exposes them to ridicule. My patriotic suggestion is to stop all press conferences. Instead, they could let their successes speak for them. The persons who have always criticized them would eat their words. Then gradually, they could rebuild their suffering image. Na me me I think o.

If you ask me, dem need to stop all dis talk and just do their thing. The interest we de get na because dem de always enter our space de claim wetin no de help dem. Dem no even need am at all but because dem de wan help somebody make the person be like say e de work, dem de talk and talk. The talk dem talk na im de pursue dem now.
So all dis warning to only one side no go help anybody. Make dem do wetin dem suppose do. Na me go mobilize support for dem, even if nobody send me. Na patriotism make me talk o.

those 12 soldier dem….kill all of dem!

My people, I throway morning greeting give una this morning. I greet una with special greeting because e don tey small wey I show for dis area and even if una no miss me, me I miss una. Straight to matter.
Dis small time I comot, many thing don happen. Some don pass sef, some still de make people vex. Ebola don come, cause big wahala and we de pray make e don waka forever. Teacher dem don talk say dem no de go work until government do some kind thing for dem school. All man know say na next century before the government go provide all the thing dem de ask. If dem go go school or wait till then, we go see. Another matter wey happen na aeroplane wey carry money de go Southie…hehehehehehe. That matter still de cause trouble. Anybody wey wan talk or abuse person on dat matter, make e hurry up because we go soon forget. Nothing wey no fit happen for Nigeria and nothing wey we no go survive.
Na so we siddon one day, we hear say soldier dem vex for dem Oga. Dem say dem shoot dem GOC. Some say dem shoot put for sky because say dem de vex say dem Oga mess up. Dem say dem Oga do tactical nonsense and come allow Boko Haram to kill some of dem colleague. The thing pain the soldier dem wey make dem vex when dem see dem Oga.
Then we hear say dem catch all the soldier dem. Then we hear say dem carry dem go court martial. We only de fit de imagine wetin dem eye don see for dem barracks before dis time wey dem carry dem go court. Now we de hear say na 13 soldier guilty. One go chop wicked punishment and dem go kill the remaining twelve hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe. Wetin make me de laugh for serious matter? Dem fit? Dem fit kill dem?
Since the day dat news enter our ear, many people don de talk about the matter. Different people just de talk. Some de beg say make dem no kill people again o. Dem de beg for the soldier dem say make dem no kill dem. Some people de vex say na wicked thing say anybody de even think say make dem kill another person. Dem de feel say dis kind period say army no try at all. The way dem de treat the soldier dem no be better thing at all. So if soldier come vex, dem for suppose know say if wall no open, lizard no fit enter. On top dat one, some people de feel say justice never enter the matter. Why because the person wey cause the trouble no suppose waka free. Dem say dem sack am and we come hear say na retire. Ohooo! You cause trouble, you retire. People wey you cause trouble for, wey vex for the trouble you cause, na dem go come die. Anyway , we fit come back for dat side later if we like.
One thing I don see for dis country as e be now be say na ziggy dem de do us. Dem de write script with everything. Dem de play us, de try to read us like book. Then dem go decide the way wey dem go take wind us make we for no know. Dem go de do us and we go still de praise dem say na dem try pass. Ok, look am from dis side.
Boko Haram start, dem send soldier.
Many of the soldier die before dem know say Boko Haram no be ordinary armed robber.
When dem don see say Boko Haram baddest, dem no do anything.
Dem see Boko Haram de raid army barrack, still dem send boys with small weapon make dem go meet those kind people.
Soldier de die, de cry say dem no get equipment. Nobody hear. Dem wife sef block road for barrack, nobody hear.
Oga de take people life play ludo. E send soldier enter ambush. Dem kill dem. As dem de carry dem body return barrack, other soldiers vex. Some say dem shoot dem Oga. Others say dem shoot for air. I no know. I no dey there. Dem say na mutiny and dem carry dem go court. Den dem free dem Oga and say dem go shoot 12.

Hehehehehe. People don de beg now. Last minute, dem go pardon dem say make dem de go jail or dem go leave dem make dem comot army without benefits. Den, people go enter road de praise one Oga wey wear parachute like so. The Oga go become Mr Compassionate. The defender of prospective orphans and widows. Na una know o. As for me, I no send. MAKE DEM KILL THOSE MEN. DEM MUST NOT LET DEM GO. MAKE DEM SHOOT DEM.
BUT DEM NO FIT!
Make I show you why dem no fit.
Gen Muhammadu Buhari
When the man be Head of State, the government make one law say anybody wey carry drug like cocaine say the person must die. Drug na bad thing. But dem come do one thing wey come be like mistake. Dem come carry the date for the law go back back. So the law come catch three men wey don commit dem offence before the law come. No do, no do, dem don try dem, find dem guilty. Like play like play dem shoot the boys publicly. Today, everywhere Buhari go, dem go take dat matter de swear for am. Dem de call am ‘draconian’. For the rest of im life, e no fit forget those boys.
Gen Ibrahim Babangida
Babangida take coup take become Head of State. One day, we hear news say dem do coup. Dem catch some people say na dem plan the coup. Dem try dem come find dem guilty. Dem sentence dem say dem go die and true true dem shoot dem. One of those men na Mamman Vatsa, im friend. The man na Babangida correct friend. In fact, when Vatsa de marry, na Babangida be the best man. The matter be like say e don die until 2011 election when Babangida show interest. Na so Mamman Vatsa wife begin yab am. E be like say some people de sponsor the woman to finish Babangida political career. Person wey plan coup, na im kill another person wey plan coup. Mamman Vatsa wife talk no be small. She say na Babangida sign signature wey she take become married woman. And na the same Babangida sign signature wey she take become widow. If Babangida and im supporters talk say dem no feel dat talk, na lie dem de talk. From now till forever, Babangida no fit forget Mamman Vatsa or im wife.
Dr Goodluck Jonathan
Dis na the second time wey matter de come meet this man whether e go cause problem for imself. First for Akure, dem carry money wey belong to soldier wey go peace keeping. We hear say dem go collet dollars and dem go come change am. Den dem go pay the soldiers naira. Who be mumu? Dem come de delay dem money join. As soldiers vex protest say dem de delay dem money and dem wan do mago-mago na so dem oga call am mutiny. Dem carry dem go court marshal and the next thing, dem sentence dem to death.

During dem trial, the soldier dem talk say
Dem corrupt Oga dem cut dem money wey dem pay dem for peace-keeping for Liberia. Each of them suppose get US$1,228 per month. But dem Oga dem cut am to US$300 for the whole six months. Wait, instead of US$1,228 x 6, dem wan give dem only US$300 for six months and nothing more!
Dem talk say na only Nigerian soldier de wear tear-tear uniform for Liberiaand the kit wey suppose be free, dem make dem buy am for big money. Dem also talk say na only our motor sabi breakdown.
Dem charge the soldier with mutiny. But the four senior officers wey do the deal, dem charge dem with stealing, cheating and negligence.
In end the ones wey dem find guilty among the senior officers, dem demote them by one rank. But the small soldiers wey protest, dem sentence dem to death.

People rise up come de ask question say how far? Femi Falana begin talk. In the end, e follow talk say make dem change the penalty to life imprisonment. Dem change am to life imprisonment. Then dem change am to seven years imprisonment. Den dem change am to dismissal WITHOUT ANY BENEFITS!

Dem don carry come again. Wetin Nigerian army learn from that last experience? Anyway, Jonathan dodge dat one.
Now, Oga GOC don commit and dem don catch small boy soldier dem again. Dem don sentence dem to death. Dem don set trap for Oga Jona again. But dem born am well make e let dem kill those men. E fit? If e try am, everything go change for am. To sleep for night go hard am. E go understand wetin Buhari and IBB don take dem eye see. No be easy thing to take one signature kill twelve men wey don serve dem country and wey for still de serve dem country if fuck-up no happen. Some people don run from army tey tey. Some people dey there de support Boko Haram, de leak information give dem. Some people dey there de thief money wey dem suppose take buy weapon. But dis men dem stay there de fight. Now dem wan kill dem!

Boko Haram make many widows. Now we want to make 12 more!!
Dem say if dem no kill dem, army go spoil. Those one for Akure don tell us during dem trial say army don spoil tey tey. And we sef see am with our eyes.

So make I no hear anybody de beg dem say make dem no kill those 12 soldier dem. Make de kill dem if dem fit. Make dem televise am make everybody take learn lesson. Make dem carry am go Bar Beach or for one big barracks. Make dem gather all the soldier wey de go fight Boko Haram so dat dem go witness the execution so dat nobody among dem go ever try dat kind thing.
Abi no be wetin dem want be dat? All the big Oga dem de shout say make dem kill dem. All because dem no wan make any of those boys de challenge dem when dem chop money. All of dem de talk with one voice on top dis matter. In fact, I don conclude. Make nobody beg dem. Make una kill those soldiers.
Una fit?

Jonathan Men Need to Shut Up!

Those of us wey like to watch football, know say football no de end for field. We learn one important lesson from wetin happen for English Football. Rafael Benitez be coach of Liverpool many years. E do well o. E win many things. Then, some of those aproko journalist dem come ask am say whether e go like coach Chelsea if dem give am chance. The man provoke. The man take mouth yeye Chelsea no be small. E no tey, Benitez waka comot England. E no tey, Chelsea sack dem coach as dem de always do. Na so dem call Benitez make e come coach dem. The man go o. But from the day e enter there, many of the Chelsea fan dem don de vex de carry banner say dem no want am. Na im bad mouth de follow am so.
Dat kind mouth no good sam-sam! The thing cause am wey the man no just tey for Chelsea before e comot. Even though say e win and e do well, dem no wan know. Dem pursue am.

Different kind of bad-mouth dey.
Mouth wey no de close dey
Mouth wey no de stay one place dey
Mouth wey no fit keep secret dey
Mouth wey no de talk true dey
Mouth wey de jump dey
Mouth wey de shoot like catapult dey
Mouth wey de put fire for house dey

See, all dis mouth no be better thing and na all dis kind mouth de give Jonathan headache. The people wey de work with Oga Jonathan de always de talk, de talk, de talk sotey person go begin wonder whether dem de support dem Oga  abi dem just wan de give am more problem.
Before you vex, I go give you plenty example of wetin dem de do so dat you sef go follow de wonder say, “Which one dis people dey sef?” And e get one more thing wey I go try do. When I talk some kind thing, I go try place the link for the side so dat you sef fit click on the link make you go check am whether I tell true abi I de lie.
One main thing wey de tire me be say people wey de work under Jonathan dem too sabi talk two things. Once upon a time, na so we come see say we no see First Lady for area. All the matter wey she de put mouth before just dey and she no talk. We begin ask question. Na so dem tell us say she just stroll go Germany go rest.
We first say which work she been de do wey she go de rest. But you know dat kind things na. When person get new dress, the person go de find where e go waka go make people for see the dress. As madam get opportunity and get jet plane, and as e no fit take jet go Wuse Market, she kukuma de go Germany na. But e no tey, na im some people hala us say madam sick seriously. Fear catch us. You see, the time Stella Obasanjo die, we no hear say she sick. We just wake up and Remi Oyo tell us say she don die. E be like dream. Nobody get chance pray for am and we no wan make dat mistake again. So we begin de ask government say wey our Mama Peace dey. Sotey Abati sef follow enter matter tell us say she just go rest and say she no sick.

http://www.punchng.com/news/mrs-jonathan-not-ill-shes-only-resting-abroad-presidency/

Only for time to pass small make Mama Peace come back de tell us say na she be the new Lazarus. In fact, she senior Lazarus sef because Lazarus na three days the man die. But Mama Peace die seven days. No matter say she don first talk say she no go hospital, she confess, do heavy party with plenty governors there, former Ghana president and too many people. Dem shoe am live for NTA local and heavenly.

http://mobile.saharareporters.com/gallery/photonews-first-lady-patience-jonathans-n500-million-resurrection-thanksgiving-service-abuja
And the time she de do her testimony, Abati dey there de smile muyen-muyen. Somebody de tell me later say make I no talk like this. E say make I think am say, at that time wey Abati de talk, the woman fit neva sick! Chai!! Darris God o! We turn mumu for dem eyes abi dem fear say na we de use winch do the woman?

No be only this one sef de make me laugh. Sometime, some government people de vex for each other sef.  Dem go de vex say, how dis man go de talk like say im sense go leave. Na Oga Stainless, David Mark I de talk so. E get one time when we de shout say we nonwant N5000 note and David Mark hear wetin Labaran Maku talk. Na so the man provoke. Na so Mark talk say Maku de talk first and then think after. E call am careless talker. Hehehehe

http://www.punchng.com/news/maku-is-a-careless-talker-senate-president/

See laugh! But I no too allow myself laugh for that David Mark matter because im sef get bad mouth. The man tell us some years ago say poor people no suppose get phone. Anyway them man de chop the reward. The poorest person na the person wey no fit waka for street among the people wey e say e de lead. The man don deny dat thing say no be wetin I’m talk. E de say I’m only talk say person wey wan use telephone go must pay for am. Hmmm! Even sef na the time wey we DW fire am for another matter e talk out. We DW fight am say e wan make dem reduce freedom of internet users we de fire government.
Still on dis David Mark matter. When the Chibok matter enter space, na so different kind idea de come from everywhere. Na so Jonathan boys de comment freely like say na WAEC question. One person go talk, another person go give  different talk. Maku say Nigerian government will go to any length to get the girls back.

http://thenationonlineng.net/new/chibok-fg-vows-rescue-abducted-girls/

Another source say Federal Government go negotiate with the terrorists. David Mark say Federal Government no go lai-lai negotiate under any circumstance.

http://m.premiumtimesng.com/news/160662-chibok-schoolgirls-nigeria-will-negotiate-terrorists-david-mark.html

In the end, we hear from foreign media say two different person de negotiate on behalf of the government.

http://m.premiumtimesng.com/news/160662-chibok-schoolgirls-nigeria-will-negotiate-terrorists-david-mark.html

See mouth!! But government don deny the Austrian negotiator. Who make we believe?

As we still de laugh over dat one, na so we hear say Jonathan go give amnesty to Boko Haram. O boy, we rush phone. We burn megabytes, just to find out who talk am and whether na true. True true we see the thing and we see say na minister talk am. We debate dat thing sotey we wan finish the beer for West End Bar. Those wey say na true de argue say if no be so, why the president no correct the minister when e make im own speech abi im de sleep when the minister de talk? The debate continue for three days until somebody carry more news come say Abati talk say no be so. At first, we no gree. We carry phone. We burn megabyte, we even see am for Channels TV. Haba! Wetin de worry dis people sef? Dem no fit think and talk the same?  Everyday dem go de do us one ziggy or the other. Abati go come out come re-educate us. As usual, na we wrong. As in the case of Mbu wey ban protest, nobody mention Boni Haruna. Na we de fuck up not dem.

http://thenationonlineng.net/new/confusion-over-amnesty-offer-to-boko-haram-members/

Sometime, dis double-talk de make us laugh but sometime, na serious matter. Like the time wey dem first kidnap those girls. Next thing we know, dem tell us say army talk say dem don catch the girls back. Only few still de miss and dem go bring dem back too. Small time, we hear say the parents of the girls de ask say, “wey the pikin dem wey una say una help us catch back?” Na den, army gree say dem mess up. We de look each other as if we de see ourself for the first time. Army sef de follow de talk nonsense? Police own no go surprise anybody. Na since we grow up we don know say police matter no get direction. But army! Now, na to de hold press conference all the time. Even, na Oga patapata Alex Badeh by himself de talk now. Who born Marylyn Ogar now? Even Police IG sef be like say e de mind imself hehehe!

Some other time dey, wey e go be say government go talk, you go de wonder whether dis people de feel the people pain at all. One Saturday evening, we begin de hear news say some people die for stadium. We first de ask say how come. We all know say no match for stadium, so wetin de carry people go there. Later, we come understand say na Nigerian Immigration Service organize recruitment. We see people for stadium, e be like say dem de watch world cup. Anyway, all dat one for no matter except say people die follow that thing. As dem die, Nigerians provoke de ask say na who supervise that recruitment. Instead make dem talk wetin go cool people mind, na so dem de talk say na the fault of the people say dem die. Some say the job seekers no get discipline. Others talk say dem no suppose plenty like so because people wey be gainfully employed already no suppose come. Hear talk. Dat’s why people vex say make dem remove the Internal Minister. Before, dem wan take style blame the Comptoller of NIS but the man get sense die. Na so the man open mouth tell dem wetin dem no like to hear. We say make dem remove the minister. Maybe na tomorrow dem go remove am.
Since the time dem remove Sanusi as Central Bank governor, the matter come be say whether money lost or e no lost. Small time, e be how much wey lost and how much wey no lost. As matter de go, na different thing Okonjo Iweala de talk and na different thing Federal Government boys de talk. Until last week wey Senate committee say money no lost. Hehehehe. E just be like the one wey happen with N2.8b for Obasanjo time as military Head of State. Fela yab dem no be small. For dat song e call Army Arrangement

Nigeria get the money
Foreign money for oversea
Nigeria get the money
Foreign money for oversea
Announcement start to happen
Newspaper carry them paper
Radio dey shout for studio
Obasanjo turn vocalist
Yar’Adua road manager
Every government statement
Seven billion naira missing
Missing from oversea
Foreign currency scandal
Them start to arrest everybody o
E no finish, e no finish…
Doctor, lawyer, hustlers
Engineer, photographers
Doctor, lawyer, hustlers
Engineer, photographers
All of them Kirikiri
Ten to fifteen years in jail
After one year inside jail
Civilian government take over
Them release all of dem
Them say dem be innocent o

E no finish, e no finish…

Two-point-eight-billion naira
Oil money is missing
Two-point-eight-billion naira
Oil money is missing
Them set up inquiry
Them say money no lost o
Them dabaru everybody
Supervisor Obasanjo
Them say make him no talk o
“Money no lost,” them shout again
Inquiry come close o

The thing wey I de talk na simple thing. Different government officials fit de go de embarrass demself and dat one no matter. Like the time wey a whole information minister talk say na Jonathan carry Facebook come Nigeria. Make una help us tell am say we de wait for Twitter. People like Olisa Metuh just de shout but dat na as PDP. Anything e like make e de talk. The same for James Evah, Asari Dokubo and even Ralph Uwazurike and Frederick Faseun. Some new loudmouths de even de come out de join. Na dem know.
Other matters dey o. Like police equipment money. Some say dem release money. Some say dem no see money. Like Maku wey talk say 85% of protesters na APC. Dem tell am  make e talk about 15 years of uninterrupted democracy for Nigeria, e begin tell us how APC no go work and who comot APC come back to PDP. All dat one na side attraction.
But when e turn to matter of wetin government de tell dem people and if dem no fit talk only one thing, something wrong. Na the same Oga dem get, why dem de run go talk. The thing no be competition na ….except, hmmm except Oga de dey incommunicado sometimes. Hmmmm!
And only yesterday, dat Police Commissioner wey dem carry go FCT from Rivers State just forget imself come ban rallies for FCT. E don forget say no be Rivers State e dey again.  People  shout say wetin? Some enter court, some enter social network and today, police de say dem no ever issue any ban on protests. I for like ask police PPRO Mba whether Mbu na soldier or police. How the man all by imself go make dat announcement without clearance from the oga dem? Police de talk like say na we invent the story of the ban.

My bros If you no tire for dis people, me I go tire for you o!
I no wan bring Patience Jonathan matter here again. She de chuck mouth for government matter and nobody de tell am. I wan talk something and if you fit, prove me wrong. All dis Jonathan men dem de do dem Oga pass as opposition de do the man. Dem de be like enemy sometimes. Check am, many people no really hate Jonathan but when dem see Maku, Metuh, Okupe dem go de vex for Jonathan. I de waka my own jare!

Bloodshed in Nigeria Brings Sweet Rewards

The Reward of Bloodshed Too Sweet for Nigeria Sef
One of the problem we de get for dis country na over-sabi. And when we talk of over-sabi, you fit de think say na people like professor dem we de talk about. But no be so. The people wey de do over-sabi na people wey know pass professor dem. No laugh when I tell you who dem be. Na people wey get half education de do over-sabi pass. Dem get idea of everything but nothing wey dem know fully. Still, dem no go let person hear word. People wey stop school halfway. People wey go university wry no learn anything.
The time I de teach English language for secondary school, e get one problem wey we de see that time. People go de always de come school co!e talk dem own. Parents o, education supervisors dem o, principal o, politician o, PTA member o, all of dem know how we suppose take teach English wey pikin go pass. Dem no de talk put for Mathematics and Physics o. But once na English, dem know wetin I suppose do to ‘deliver the goods’. Why I talk dis thing so? I go give you two reason.
You don hear people de talk dis thing, say “heaven helps those who help themselves”? Dem go de quote am de talk say na Bible talk am. Na lie. E no dey Bible at all. In fact, na the opposite Bible de teach. If we fit save ourself, why Jesus die?
You don hear people talk say, “the end justifies the means”? Wetin dem mean be say, anyhow anyhow, na wetin happen for end na im matter pass. E fit be true but dat no be the meaning of dis talk. The talk de really de tell us say because we get something in the end no mean say the way we take get am no matter. The talk mean say no be say we get something in the end be the only thing wey matter. The way we take get am sef matter seriously.
You see, if we de ask ourself how people de get the thing wey dem de take pose for us, thief-thief go reduce for dis country. Ok, see me o. I be government worker. But if I do one party and I come put fifty canopy and I kill twenty cow and I still bring tanker of beer. Nobody go ask me say how I take get the money. Na bad country de allow dat kind thing de happen. If person live big pass the work wey e de do, we suppose de ask am say how far.

Na dat same thing de give us trouble for area. People go de steal government money and nobody de ask question. Man wey no get work go park like five jeep. Pikin wey no finish school wey no get work go de drive two Toyota and de build house for im papa. Im papa no go ask am say “how far?” Person wey no get shop anywhere go be landlord for three or four mansions. As nobody de ask question, people de bold more and more. Kidnapper dem de carry human being go do medicine for money. One day, person broke and the next day e be millionaire and all we go talk na “baba o”!

Too many people de benefit from dis kind thing. The same thing de happen for so many things wey de involve bloodshed for dis country. The reward for bloodshed too sweet. Person go thief money, come kill person join. Dem go send police carry am. We go say thank God say one bad person don comot for area. Wait six months, e go return de chop the money e thief. All dat plenty o but the one wey hold my mind now na different one. When I get sense to de read book dat time, I try read “Gone With the Wind”. From the small I read, I come learn say money dey for to build something and money still dey for to destroy dat thing. Money come still dey for to re-build am hehehehe. Na so e be for civil war. People de die for East for 1967, people for other parts of Nigeria de party, de marry, de go school de do normal for North and West. Blood de pour and so many people de benefit. Some de run blockade, some de sell weapons and some de steal useful things. I remember the time Odumegwu Ojukwu de fight to reclaim im papa house for Lagos. Dat house for Hawksworth wey JAMB de use dat time. All people de die, dem run leave dem property, other people occupy dem de collect rent for years! Na only people wey survive the war come back to claim dem property. The others……hehehehee! E don try!

Another one dey.
Some people be oga for South West now. Na OPC dem take climb. That time, na so so fight and kill and maim and loot. Dem fight plenty for Lagos. Some people de take the name of OPC de operate cult. Some de take the name of OPC de kill dem opponent. Some take OPC de do armed robbery. Some use OPC take organize demself for election. Blood de pour and some de smile enter bank. In the end, some people become leader of the people onto say dem fit kill people or dem get people wey de help dem kill people. How dem go stop  when dem de enjoy the reward of dem wickedness.

E never finish o.
Na so e still happen for South East when one governor introduce Bakassi Boys. Dat time, MOSSOB dem still dey but Bakassi na dem superior for wickedness. Dem give dem power to de wipe out crime. Na so dem give dem open back pick-up vans. Dem go siddon for the back with shiny cutlass with red cloth wey dem tie on am. Dem go de waka for town de find thief. Dem go say dem de work on tip off. Dem go catch person and dem go say dem de carry am go dem lab. Wetin be dis lab? Dem go do juju and dem say if the person don kill person before, the cutlass go turn red. Once e happen like that the person don go be dat. Dem go carry am go the front of im papa house. Den dem go stand am there and begin de cut all im hand and leg one by one until dem go cut im head and dem go put tyre come put fire. People wey suspect say somebody kill dem family years before begin report to dem. Dem de carry suspects go lab. Dem kill some, dem free some. Na dem juju be law. Police no get mouth.
See fear for town. For 21st century na im dem de take juju check who be thief! And the state government for Anambra de support them. Anyway, people run away from town o. Political opponents know say dem no safe. See  the way dis Bakassi boys de form, de do party, DW enjoy. Blood de pour. Blood de pour, dem de drink de happy. Blood de pour, some people de smile enter bank and who wan stop dem? Na until dem oga lose election all of dem run away.

E still remain o!
Niger Delta soon start dem own. Dem begin de blow up oil things. Dem de hala de ask say make dem give dem dem right. Na on top dat one dem do Saro-Wiwa. Dem kill am and some people among im people benefit from dat wickedness. Abacha turn some of im people against am. Dem plan am well, dem kill am and some others. Before e tey, many boys rise up and the matter big. Dem kill soldier, soldier kill dem. Obasanjo enter Odi go scatter ground. The same way e scatter ground for Zakibiam. Blood everywhere. Who send anybody. Talk make you lost! People die no be small. Obasanjo say na terrorists dem kill. Jonathan later talk say na women and children dem kill. Oyinbo people sef follow die for Niger Delta. Later, things settle and money full everywhere. Asari Dokubo don get university and Tompolo get contract pass Julius Berger. All the blood wey throway, nobody de talk am. If you call dem terrorist, GOVERNMENT go tell you say shut up. Dem go say dem be activists, agitators, militants. We know wetin dem be…kidnappers and murderers! Dem kill people and now dem de chop the benefit of bloodshed. E good make dem get reward for wetin dem land de produce but blood dey inside am now. Dem give dem amnesty and dem begin de chop money. Others de look na.

E no too tey, Boko Haram come start dem own. Na inside am we dey now. Nobody for sleep again . To waka for Abuja na work now. To go watch match na risk. Dem de kill people in hundred plus at a time. Wetin be dis? Still onto this matter, everybody de point the other person say na im de do am. Buhari say na Federal Government be the biggest Boko Haram. General Azazzi say make we ask PDP. Labaran Maku say na opposition de do am. Olisa Metuh de accuse anybody e like. Muslims say dem hand no dey and Christians de ask dem whether na Bible Boko Haram de quote. Blood de pour and we de hear say some people de chop the money wey we suppose de use fight Boko Haram. Blood de pour, some people de become millionaires. Every time hundred people die, government go say na twenty. Some pressmen and government soldiers for social network go collect money de lie say na only ten people die for place wey e be say na more than one hundred die. I just tire. Dem sef don de find amnesty. Who no like to chop money? Dem shed blood pass Niger Delta, so maybe dem own money go big pass. We no kukuma know who go shed blood next make dem for collect dem own share.
We no know which side matter de go as dem carry small girls go. Army de talk pass political party. Everybody de talk. Jonathan de talk. Mark de talk. Maku de talk. Olukolade de talk. Shettima de talk. Nyako de talk. Ali Modu Sherrif de talk. WAEC de talk. Patience de talk. Protesters de talk. US de talk. Cameroon de talk. Boko Haram de talk.

Blood de pour! Money de fly. We choose who we like to believe, we go enter Facebook de argue. Blood de pour!

Example do joo! Wetin dey inside dis matter be say too many people de enjoy the reward of bloodshed for dis country and nobody de challenge dem not to talk of to do dem anything. Dat’s why dem de bold more and more every day. Na we get our country and na we go tell our country the truth. Too many people de benefit from bloodshed and dat no be better thing at all. The reward for bloodshed sweet for Nigeria. E too sweet and e no go change except we by ourself talk say, “e don do”.