Soja for rent
I no know how I wan take write dis mata make e short. I don try many style and I don cancel many style. The reason be say I no wan make anything wey resemble lie enter the talk. I don decide make I just de talk am as e de enter my mind. When you read am, you fit de arrange am for your own mind as you like.
Who fit beat person for street today come go free? Who fit brush you anyhow and people go de look and dem no go even ask question not to talk to put hand? If area boys beat you, you fit arrange your own area boys go meet dem later. You fit beat dem sister for street corner or burn dem papa house. If police beat you, you fit do Return of Bruce Lee go meet am where e rent house. You fit rush am when you see am on top bike for your street. Make we no talk cult own because if e start, e no de quick end.
So who fit brush person come go free? Na only sojaman.
I wan first of all talk say correct soja dey o. Soja wey know wetin dem work be. Soja wey go drive im motor and obey yellow fever and even stay for line for go-slow. We get many many soja wey be 100% professional. All of una wey make sense, make una de continue like dat abeg. No be una I de follow talk.
Soja don show us pepper for dis country sotey you no go know the one to talk first and the one not to talk at all. The time wey I dey secondary school, some Lagos boys for our boarding house de always de tell us how soja de take koboko de whip people wey no quick comot for road for dem. Years after, I reach Lagos and I still de see soja de wear koboko for waist. I just de think say, so dis people still never change?
All of us know say soja de harass civilian. Na so dem take enter Kalakuta under Obasanjo. Dem scatter no be small. Dem throway Fela mama from window as Fela talk and Fela still blame dem say na dem kill im mama. Again, you remember those naval ratings wey beat Uzoma Okere for street for Lagos? Dem tear her cloth. The mata enter court. Who fit talk say im know how dat mata come be now? Again again, na soja enter street for Lagos and BRT buses catch fire. People wey dey there talk say na soja put the fire. Doja told say dem no know anything about am. Dem talk the mata go left, dem talk am go right and na still one place we stand. We no fit count the number of time soja don beat police. I no talk say soja fight police. I mean say soja beat police. Some time sef na because dem say make dem park for check point.
We don see soja de display for filling station for time of fuel scarcity. Na magic dem de do there. We don see soja when bank no quick answer dem when dem money enter account. Dem wan collect before dem even post the money to account. We don see soja when dem go buy ‘no-testing’ and come see say e no work. Dem go mobilize enter market and everywhere go de shake. We don see soja for many many situation for dis country. We don see soja wey wear hood for Osun election. We no fit tell till today weda dem be soja or thugs wey sew uniform.
The one wey tire me now be say people de use soldier de do all kind thing now. Person wey get one or two soja as friend go just call dem when anything happen and dem sef go run come display. I see soja beat one man anyhow because dem call dem. The person wey call dem tell dem say the other man beat im 65 year-old papa. Till today, nobody know the truth. Na me carry the battered man go clinic after the soja boys don finally approve say make we try save im life. If person owe you money, you go just carry two or three soja go there and your money go come out. If girl no write exam, she go tell soja say na you cause am and soja go show for your step. People go tell you say, “I no go bother handle your matter myself, I go just bring soja for you”. Soja don turn something wey dem de rent.
You come know where the matter come bad pass? I don see say no be all the people wey dem de rent as soja be soja. Many many boys dey barrack de hustle. When people call soja make dem come help dem, soja fit give two or three boys camo facecap or belt say make dem de go represent. The boys go enter area come de form soja. When dem finish, dem go carry money from the person wey call dem. Weda dem de deliver give soja, I no fit know.
How civilian go de rent soja for purely civil matter? The worst part be say na who call dem de always right. Dem first mode na beating mode. You de read dis thing and e de be you like say I just de talk abi? Wait until soja wife or girlfriend go bash you from behind. Na she go wrong but when she make one phone call, soja go come and na you go wrong from dat point on. Imagine the rest.
As Buhari say make soja no dey for checkpoint again, abeg make e tell dem make dem no de put demsef up for rent. Dat kind thing no good.