Jonathan Men Need to Shut Up!

Those of us wey like to watch football, know say football no de end for field. We learn one important lesson from wetin happen for English Football. Rafael Benitez be coach of Liverpool many years. E do well o. E win many things. Then, some of those aproko journalist dem come ask am say whether e go like coach Chelsea if dem give am chance. The man provoke. The man take mouth yeye Chelsea no be small. E no tey, Benitez waka comot England. E no tey, Chelsea sack dem coach as dem de always do. Na so dem call Benitez make e come coach dem. The man go o. But from the day e enter there, many of the Chelsea fan dem don de vex de carry banner say dem no want am. Na im bad mouth de follow am so.
Dat kind mouth no good sam-sam! The thing cause am wey the man no just tey for Chelsea before e comot. Even though say e win and e do well, dem no wan know. Dem pursue am.

Different kind of bad-mouth dey.
Mouth wey no de close dey
Mouth wey no de stay one place dey
Mouth wey no fit keep secret dey
Mouth wey no de talk true dey
Mouth wey de jump dey
Mouth wey de shoot like catapult dey
Mouth wey de put fire for house dey

See, all dis mouth no be better thing and na all dis kind mouth de give Jonathan headache. The people wey de work with Oga Jonathan de always de talk, de talk, de talk sotey person go begin wonder whether dem de support dem Oga  abi dem just wan de give am more problem.
Before you vex, I go give you plenty example of wetin dem de do so dat you sef go follow de wonder say, “Which one dis people dey sef?” And e get one more thing wey I go try do. When I talk some kind thing, I go try place the link for the side so dat you sef fit click on the link make you go check am whether I tell true abi I de lie.
One main thing wey de tire me be say people wey de work under Jonathan dem too sabi talk two things. Once upon a time, na so we come see say we no see First Lady for area. All the matter wey she de put mouth before just dey and she no talk. We begin ask question. Na so dem tell us say she just stroll go Germany go rest.
We first say which work she been de do wey she go de rest. But you know dat kind things na. When person get new dress, the person go de find where e go waka go make people for see the dress. As madam get opportunity and get jet plane, and as e no fit take jet go Wuse Market, she kukuma de go Germany na. But e no tey, na im some people hala us say madam sick seriously. Fear catch us. You see, the time Stella Obasanjo die, we no hear say she sick. We just wake up and Remi Oyo tell us say she don die. E be like dream. Nobody get chance pray for am and we no wan make dat mistake again. So we begin de ask government say wey our Mama Peace dey. Sotey Abati sef follow enter matter tell us say she just go rest and say she no sick.

Only for time to pass small make Mama Peace come back de tell us say na she be the new Lazarus. In fact, she senior Lazarus sef because Lazarus na three days the man die. But Mama Peace die seven days. No matter say she don first talk say she no go hospital, she confess, do heavy party with plenty governors there, former Ghana president and too many people. Dem shoe am live for NTA local and heavenly.
And the time she de do her testimony, Abati dey there de smile muyen-muyen. Somebody de tell me later say make I no talk like this. E say make I think am say, at that time wey Abati de talk, the woman fit neva sick! Chai!! Darris God o! We turn mumu for dem eyes abi dem fear say na we de use winch do the woman?

No be only this one sef de make me laugh. Sometime, some government people de vex for each other sef.  Dem go de vex say, how dis man go de talk like say im sense go leave. Na Oga Stainless, David Mark I de talk so. E get one time when we de shout say we nonwant N5000 note and David Mark hear wetin Labaran Maku talk. Na so the man provoke. Na so Mark talk say Maku de talk first and then think after. E call am careless talker. Hehehehe

See laugh! But I no too allow myself laugh for that David Mark matter because im sef get bad mouth. The man tell us some years ago say poor people no suppose get phone. Anyway them man de chop the reward. The poorest person na the person wey no fit waka for street among the people wey e say e de lead. The man don deny dat thing say no be wetin I’m talk. E de say I’m only talk say person wey wan use telephone go must pay for am. Hmmm! Even sef na the time wey we DW fire am for another matter e talk out. We DW fight am say e wan make dem reduce freedom of internet users we de fire government.
Still on dis David Mark matter. When the Chibok matter enter space, na so different kind idea de come from everywhere. Na so Jonathan boys de comment freely like say na WAEC question. One person go talk, another person go give  different talk. Maku say Nigerian government will go to any length to get the girls back.

Another source say Federal Government go negotiate with the terrorists. David Mark say Federal Government no go lai-lai negotiate under any circumstance.

In the end, we hear from foreign media say two different person de negotiate on behalf of the government.

See mouth!! But government don deny the Austrian negotiator. Who make we believe?

As we still de laugh over dat one, na so we hear say Jonathan go give amnesty to Boko Haram. O boy, we rush phone. We burn megabytes, just to find out who talk am and whether na true. True true we see the thing and we see say na minister talk am. We debate dat thing sotey we wan finish the beer for West End Bar. Those wey say na true de argue say if no be so, why the president no correct the minister when e make im own speech abi im de sleep when the minister de talk? The debate continue for three days until somebody carry more news come say Abati talk say no be so. At first, we no gree. We carry phone. We burn megabyte, we even see am for Channels TV. Haba! Wetin de worry dis people sef? Dem no fit think and talk the same?  Everyday dem go de do us one ziggy or the other. Abati go come out come re-educate us. As usual, na we wrong. As in the case of Mbu wey ban protest, nobody mention Boni Haruna. Na we de fuck up not dem.

Sometime, dis double-talk de make us laugh but sometime, na serious matter. Like the time wey dem first kidnap those girls. Next thing we know, dem tell us say army talk say dem don catch the girls back. Only few still de miss and dem go bring dem back too. Small time, we hear say the parents of the girls de ask say, “wey the pikin dem wey una say una help us catch back?” Na den, army gree say dem mess up. We de look each other as if we de see ourself for the first time. Army sef de follow de talk nonsense? Police own no go surprise anybody. Na since we grow up we don know say police matter no get direction. But army! Now, na to de hold press conference all the time. Even, na Oga patapata Alex Badeh by himself de talk now. Who born Marylyn Ogar now? Even Police IG sef be like say e de mind imself hehehe!

Some other time dey, wey e go be say government go talk, you go de wonder whether dis people de feel the people pain at all. One Saturday evening, we begin de hear news say some people die for stadium. We first de ask say how come. We all know say no match for stadium, so wetin de carry people go there. Later, we come understand say na Nigerian Immigration Service organize recruitment. We see people for stadium, e be like say dem de watch world cup. Anyway, all dat one for no matter except say people die follow that thing. As dem die, Nigerians provoke de ask say na who supervise that recruitment. Instead make dem talk wetin go cool people mind, na so dem de talk say na the fault of the people say dem die. Some say the job seekers no get discipline. Others talk say dem no suppose plenty like so because people wey be gainfully employed already no suppose come. Hear talk. Dat’s why people vex say make dem remove the Internal Minister. Before, dem wan take style blame the Comptoller of NIS but the man get sense die. Na so the man open mouth tell dem wetin dem no like to hear. We say make dem remove the minister. Maybe na tomorrow dem go remove am.
Since the time dem remove Sanusi as Central Bank governor, the matter come be say whether money lost or e no lost. Small time, e be how much wey lost and how much wey no lost. As matter de go, na different thing Okonjo Iweala de talk and na different thing Federal Government boys de talk. Until last week wey Senate committee say money no lost. Hehehehe. E just be like the one wey happen with N2.8b for Obasanjo time as military Head of State. Fela yab dem no be small. For dat song e call Army Arrangement

Nigeria get the money
Foreign money for oversea
Nigeria get the money
Foreign money for oversea
Announcement start to happen
Newspaper carry them paper
Radio dey shout for studio
Obasanjo turn vocalist
Yar’Adua road manager
Every government statement
Seven billion naira missing
Missing from oversea
Foreign currency scandal
Them start to arrest everybody o
E no finish, e no finish…
Doctor, lawyer, hustlers
Engineer, photographers
Doctor, lawyer, hustlers
Engineer, photographers
All of them Kirikiri
Ten to fifteen years in jail
After one year inside jail
Civilian government take over
Them release all of dem
Them say dem be innocent o

E no finish, e no finish…

Two-point-eight-billion naira
Oil money is missing
Two-point-eight-billion naira
Oil money is missing
Them set up inquiry
Them say money no lost o
Them dabaru everybody
Supervisor Obasanjo
Them say make him no talk o
“Money no lost,” them shout again
Inquiry come close o

The thing wey I de talk na simple thing. Different government officials fit de go de embarrass demself and dat one no matter. Like the time wey a whole information minister talk say na Jonathan carry Facebook come Nigeria. Make una help us tell am say we de wait for Twitter. People like Olisa Metuh just de shout but dat na as PDP. Anything e like make e de talk. The same for James Evah, Asari Dokubo and even Ralph Uwazurike and Frederick Faseun. Some new loudmouths de even de come out de join. Na dem know.
Other matters dey o. Like police equipment money. Some say dem release money. Some say dem no see money. Like Maku wey talk say 85% of protesters na APC. Dem tell am  make e talk about 15 years of uninterrupted democracy for Nigeria, e begin tell us how APC no go work and who comot APC come back to PDP. All dat one na side attraction.
But when e turn to matter of wetin government de tell dem people and if dem no fit talk only one thing, something wrong. Na the same Oga dem get, why dem de run go talk. The thing no be competition na ….except, hmmm except Oga de dey incommunicado sometimes. Hmmmm!
And only yesterday, dat Police Commissioner wey dem carry go FCT from Rivers State just forget imself come ban rallies for FCT. E don forget say no be Rivers State e dey again.  People  shout say wetin? Some enter court, some enter social network and today, police de say dem no ever issue any ban on protests. I for like ask police PPRO Mba whether Mbu na soldier or police. How the man all by imself go make dat announcement without clearance from the oga dem? Police de talk like say na we invent the story of the ban.

My bros If you no tire for dis people, me I go tire for you o!
I no wan bring Patience Jonathan matter here again. She de chuck mouth for government matter and nobody de tell am. I wan talk something and if you fit, prove me wrong. All dis Jonathan men dem de do dem Oga pass as opposition de do the man. Dem de be like enemy sometimes. Check am, many people no really hate Jonathan but when dem see Maku, Metuh, Okupe dem go de vex for Jonathan. I de waka my own jare!


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