My people, no be say I wan far from una o. but many many thing dey wey person go must to de do if person go de see food chop. That one I talk so na official lie. The reason I neva write be say I de wait to know the no-go-area before I go talk the one wey dem go take make me popular. So when I don sure wetin I wan talk, na im I show face so.
Every corner wey you open paper, na Sanusi be discussion. People wey sabi read, dem de read de interpret give people wey no sabi read. Everybody de talk im own and dem de talk like say dem dey there. Come see people wey get shop for Alaba de analyse the bad policy wey Sanusi do. Some people sef talk say since the man come, na since then naira comot for one pound to two naira.
Person ear don full to hear talk and eye don full to read all kind talk. Wetin sef? Na so I carry phone enter Bloomberg make I see wetin dem talk because na dem be the finance people. O boy, na praise dem de praise the same policy wey Alaba expert de analyse. I say make I show one person. The guy nearly knock my Tecno comot from my hand. The man say, “Nnaa gerraway you. Your internet for your phone know Nigeria matter pass me abi your own internet beta my own? Gerraway you!”
Ok. Paper talk say Oga say make Sanusi de go face im traditional ruler post. Reason be say the letter wey e write Oga come go fall into APC people….sorry….e fall into hand of press men. Sanusi vex talk say as the shit wey dey im nyash never finish, why dem go say make im comot from toilet. Sanusi shit come de smell enter government house. The thing de disturb the executive animal dem for presidential zoo. Dem de talk say Sanusi shit, the man kukuma mess bad mess join.
The smell strong wey be say Oga tell am say as e don shit finish, e get to go find green leaf take clean nyash. As the man find the leaves go, na so dem carry im chair give another person.
So, as dem don pack Sanusi things go give am, wetin come be all the noise wey de join? Albino wey de bleach, wetin e wan turn imself to? But e be like say I know as e de do dem. When dem comot Timipre Sylva, dem make sure say dem snap plenty photo , so dem go de talk de yab say see handcuff for your hand.
When e reach Ibori turn, youths de shoot police. Na so paper talk dat time. Photo we no see. Na only dat wicked photo wey oyibo give am cardboard carry. The way im eyes be for that photo make some people de talk say na true sef say the way e de look for that photo be like criminal.
Den that time wey dem been jail Oga Bode George. That day wey dem sentence am. As dem read the sentence finish, na so area boys scatter everybody for court premises. Why? Dem no want make anybody take oga photo with prison officials or dem motor. Till today, I neva see anywhere wey that photo dey.
Even the rollcall long. Stella Oduah. Dem say no be sack say na resign. The woman and the other one wey talk say e don declare for governorship wey we just finish the election. Dem no yawa dis people. Even Cicelia Ibru wey dem jail. Na 5-star hospital she do her own prison and dem still no treat am anyhow.
But Sanusi own? Na court we de hear say na dem talk say make Police, SSS and AGF no arrest the man. Why everybody wan catch the man wey take im own leg take waka come back home? Nobody say make Sanusi no explain wetin e do, but person wey una say im skin don be albino, wetin dem de force am rub bleaching cream for. Abi na just make e for give people photo wey dem go de paste for Facebook abi na make the humiliation for complete?
Anyway, somebody talk say na Ministry of Distraction de do all dis one.
Sanusi don comot. Wey the money wey de miss. Abi e no miss again? That babe wey dem take replace am…if she by mistake come tomorrow say nothing happen and money no lost…hehehe na so. Like dat N2.8billion we lost and come unlost, wey Fela take sing song.
Na true say dem suspend Sanusi. True say dem talk say the man na reckless driver. True say dem say e go answer question. True again say na the time the dog no hear im master call na im dem remember say na bad driver. All na true. Dem de talk say, when woman no want her husband again, she go remember where the man been get sore for leg before. No be today dem don de arrest people.
OBJ carry Adedibu go Abuja. Dem do do do, dem leave the old man after warning.
Dem carry Tinubu go tribunal. After sight-seeing, dem free the man.
Dem carry Ibori go brand new High Court for Asaba. Na there dem wash away all im sin.
Dem lock Teslim Folarin for murder of Eleweomo for Ibadan. Next day e dey PDP convention for Abuja de work for one oga.
Dem carry Dimeji Bankole go court. Dem don wash im sin away. Free to go.
If Sanusi do normal, im sin go white like snow.
Wait o! What about the money wey de miss?