Me sef don write letter!

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Dis last week, we no fit hear word for area sake of say two letter de fly. The first thing wey de pain me be say dem write letter and dem no post am through NIPOST! What a loss of IGR! But Guiness suppose come look whether dis thing no go enter book of record. Wetin? Two letter and the whole place de shake. People de talk, even people wey never read letter na dem voice loud pass. I tire o.
The letter dem sef. Which one make we talk first sef? Ok. Make we begin with Baba letter. No be we dem write letter give so we go de careful how we de carry aproko  enter another man matter. The letter talk say Naijaman no de control area well. That one no be new thing because all man de dig borehole for water, de buy dog for security. All man sef de go private school for education and de buy generator for light. So e be like say that one no be the thing wey de cause the riot so. Wetin again? Dem say Naijaman sef no baaaad man. That one hard small o because anybody wey no know the full meaning of treason go need to carry dictionary before e talk put for dat one. Because if you mis-talk…hmmm Oga Rubby go knock for your door. I no get power o. , Dem add say corruption no get control, say d broom don short wey dem de take sweep  am. As dem just talk am finish say the broom dem de take sweep corruption comot no be correct broom na so something happen. Next thing, dem say no money for EFCC account!!! Choi! Dat one hold man for throat o. How people wey pass thousand wey dem de pay to pursue corruption go come talk say no money to do the work dem de pay dem for?
Anyway, wetin again dey letter. Ah…fear de catch me to talk dis one. The time I hear say dem de train sniper, I first think say na person wey de snap photo na im dem de call sniper. But as I come ask people wey de hear English, na so dem tell me wetin e be. Since den, I never fit look ground when I de waka make person no go snipe me from on top tree. Anyway, dat matter tire person o. Baba na former soldier…but just because na former soldier, does dat one come mean say…………………………………………………………………….……but Naijaman don talk say na fake talk be dat. Abeg make we believe Naijaman jare. But what if some people de go for Naijaman back de ………………………………………..…………see wetin dis letter wan turn us to?…. and the letter long o! As the letter come de cause trouble, na so another letter enter floor. Na pikin letter be the new one.
E get one special thing wey dey between that girl (sorry, woman) and her papa. E get the pikin wey dem de ask say, ‘Is this your father?’ And e get pikin wey dem no de ask dat question. Instead of dat, dem de tell am say, ‘this is your father’. O boy, that babe resemble her papa! Blood is thicker than water!
The letter still de cause trouble. Some say na she write am. Some say no be she write am. We no wan know for this area. We go better look the letter from the two side.
If na she write am, she don scatter Yoruba tradition o. Yoruba people dem no de curse elder and dem no de abuse elder for public o. Igbo boy na rude boy. E go carry hand go shake elder, nearly break elder hand. But Yoruba boy go wait until elder by imself bring hand say make you shake am.
Okay, dat one pass. She come scatter ground say her papa na bad person. So wetin new there. No be EBORA OF OWU dem de call am? Dat one na better name before? You say bad spirit bad, wetin you talk wey new. The one wey de make me laff be as all the people for Facebook de shout say the old man de chop im pikin wife. I laugh sotey shit was drop. Wetin the boy de do wey the babe come like that man pass imsef, abi no mirror for that house? The woman wey leave im husband de chop the papa, she go win STV Man of the Year Award? Some people say na national disgrace than can only happen in Nigeria. NA LIE!!!! Ryan Giggs de chop im brother wife pass ten years. Dem catch am and e still de play for Man U! Dem still de shout im name. Anyway na only one question remain.
Wetin dat pikin letter tell us about im papa wey we no know before?
Na so we come de fight oursef. People wey for buy beer for person come de vex carry dem money go back home. Wait. To take money wey you don budget to buy beer and point & kill  for your friends go back home, THAT NA THE MEANING OF TREASON!!!! To talk wetin you no understand na stupidity!
So wetin come be conclusion. The second letter na from papa to pikin. The first letter na from papa to pikin. All the letter na family affair. Na Baba give us pikin wey she take Vet Medicine take be Commissioner for Health for Ogun State. Na Baba give us pikin wey she take Vet Medicine become head of House Committee on Health abi wetin she be dat time? The wahala wey burst there reach court. Abeg who know how far with that case sef? Na Baba still give us pikin wey take Zoology enter second position for Inter-House Sports. Na Baba still give us pikin, give am backing when e go win Inter-House Sports with first position. You see as all dis people resemble each other?
So before the third letter go come out, make everybody park well. Make all man leave Naijaman make e focus because matter full ground. Lecturers don finish dem own. Dem don collect money. Now doctor dem don start. Who know when dat one go end. Who know who go do im own next. Abeg make we allow bros focus. As much as we for like to remove am, if na God put am there, nothing de par!!
Bros leave comment for we language. No abuse person and no put bad-belle otherwise na only you one go know say you been write something. Abeg I get call…hello…hello….Nooo no be me write am o…..i no call anybody name o….hello…heelllooooo. Abeg put this blog address for your wall make your friends follow jollificate….hello…I say it is not me wey write it!!!!!

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