Dem no let us talk for Mandela funeral…e pain us!!!
Na true say Mandela don die and na true say dem don bury am. But one thing wey shake ground for naija area be say dem no let Naijaman talk one sentence for the burial. Dat thing pain some of our people and e make some of our people vex. The first time the matter happen, we first turn am to laugh. One person say,’after all the help we gave to South Africa’. We come answer am say, ‘Na South Africa you help. Dem tell you thank you dat time. Na Mandela die, South Africa never die. You go still wait small’. We laugh no be small. But matter come de serious pass HIV as the days de pass and people wey know book de take telescope look the matter.
Na so me sef tell myself say I no must carry last. Na im I carry stethoscope and telescope (all na scope). One thing wey pay me pass be say na ear and eye I take do my own research. I come find some reason wey fit…wey fit….wey fit (I hope three time reach for people wey like to misquote person) be the reason dem park us for corner.
True true, Naijaman na correct as e go there still. Some people don de talk say make e no show for the place. But e be like say some of im adviser de hear Ebenezer Obey music, wey e talk say, ‘Oja Oyingbo, ko mo pe eni kan oo wa o’ which mean to say Oyingbo Market no know say one person no come. So e good well well say Naijaman show face. Na two Mr President show there from Naija axis and na nearly only two of dem wear cap for inside house…one traditional cap and one bowler hat. Na so event start and finish.
So wetin come cause dis matter? Some say na national disgrace but some people say nothing spoil. I no know who to believe sef but I no use my periscope look that side. Na another side I look, wey be say why dem do us like dis.
First of all, na dem papa die no be our papa. How you go tell person say you must talk for im papa burial just because of say you been give dem money when dem papa dey hospital? As na dem papa die, abeg allow dem bury am as dem like. So the first thing I see be say na yeye de worry us.
The second thing wey the periscope show be say no be only we dem do dat thing o. all the head of government for UK no get space talk. But dem no complain. Maybe because say some people say na dem be apartheid proper. I no know o but dem no cause fight. Again, na yeye de worry us.
The third thing telescope bring be say the people wey de laugh government no de laugh because we no talk for der. Dem just de laugh say God catch all the people wey de hope say dem go gather write speech for Naijaman. Dem de laugh de happy say the money wey we for take carry all the speech writers, speech readers, speech polishers, speech editors and speech monitors…all dat money don save. Dem fit now carry am give NFF make dem take de pay Keshi salary. (If dem like dem go put am for safe again make e lost like im senior brother. dem still de find that one wey lost abi?) So dem de laugh say at least dem don know say some people no send dem. And dem be normal people like any other people.
The fourth thing wey telescope show be say, the supporters of Naijaman de vex. But some no vex because we no talk for burial. Dem de vex because the way dat matter go, e de give opponent something to take laugh dem. Opponent say sebi una go de do headmaster de ring bell for stock exchange, oya go Pretoria na. Big boys don gather. Go try see whether you be big boy true true. So dem vex say dem oga no enter world limelight dat day.
Na so I turn the telescope face South Africa sake of say make I for know wetin dem de think wey make dem commit that kind commit. As I look inside telescope my eye wan blind. Wetin my mouth see, my eye no fit talk am. I no know whether na true, so make I tell you make you decide.
Telescope show say;
South Africa de measure say, who de wonder say country wey dem school don close for six month, no be apartheid be dat? When the pikin of the big politicians full South Africa de drive big car de go school? Dis people wan de remind us of apartheid wey be say na only some people de go school and others na labourer?
South Africa de measure say, we remember the time Christine Amanpour interview somebody about electricity. Dem give answer finish and Christine enter area with microphone and na different thing she meet. People like dis fit reach there make we no know wetin dem go talk.
South Africa de measure say Transparency International score Naija high mark no be small. And international organizations tell dem about the election for Anambra. Dem also tell dem say for Rivers State, na Hollywood vs Nollywood. How dem go let people wey do dat kind Anambra election come talk for Mandela burial biko?
South Africa sef de measure say, na Naija area no get better record. Na the week wey everyman de celebrate Mandela and Freedom, na dat week dem de read for paper say bill to send people go jail for 7 year sake of say dem yawa government de pass second reading. SECOND READING? Haba, if dem talk for Mandela burial,the man fit get up say im no die again!
South Africa de measure say, as dem de celebrate say Madela try bring dem together instead of to scatter dem, how e come be say BIG BROS Naija de wan do conference to scatter demself? Dat conference wey dem wan do, if the first question come be, DO WE WANT TO STAY TOGETHER AS A NATION? And the answer come be NOOOOO! Wetin go come happen? As dem de try stay together, how dem wan give microphone to people wey wan stay apart? Make dem no go spread virus!
The last thing wey that telescope carry come pass my power. Dem talk say, make our own Mandela sef make e die make we call who we like. I de find who go be our Mandela. E be like say I been read somewhere say some people say dem be like Mandela because na dem rescue Naija area from military dictator dem. Na true o….yes. Ok made dem name dem Mandela abeg. Dis thing wey South Africa do us, we must do back